Learning to Trust Before Understanding 💘

As someone deeply sensitive to truth and fairness, I have always questioned life. I found myself asking why about almost everything. Why suffering exists, why the world feels unfair, is God for us or against us. In that constant questioning, I slowly drifted farther and farther from what I was made for. And in that distance, I began to feel empty… and deeply thirsty.

I remember one moment in high school, there was a blackout, and I casually told my best friend, “Let me pray for the electricity.” I prayed, said “Amen,” and immediately the lights came back. She is a strong believer, so from that day on, she would come back to me and say, “Pray for the electricity!” even when I had forgotten about that moment.

At the time, it felt almost funny. But later, I began to wonder: Was there something real in that prayer? Even as I drifted, that moment stayed with me. It was a reminder that there is something greater, something capable of filling the emptiness I felt.

I was inspired to write this blog after an experience I had on Wednesday night. A few days ago, I came across an announcement for a movie night featuring The Passion of the Christ. My first reaction was, This is not for me, I’m past that stage. But something in me kept asking: What if I watched it again now? Would it be different? It had been almost 15 years since I last saw it.

At the same time, I was carrying a question I had asked a priest recently: “Why do we suffer if God loves us and is powerful enough to end it?” He answered, “Jesus also suffered to show us that suffering is not the end.” But I wasn’t satisfied. I found myself asking: “Why the dramatic way? Couldn’t He have just ended it? Was it really necessary for Him to come and live through what we experience?” I carried these questions into that movie night and I told myself "let's see how he suffered, maybe I will find something I never realized before".

And there, I began to receive answers, at least for now. I know it may deepen or change as I continue to grow. I realized that I had been trying to change what could not be changed. That is how the story was written—God’s decision. So the question became: Now what? If suffering is part of the story, what do I do with it?

You know how Scripture reveals something new each time you read it? It was exactly like that. This time, the movie was not just a story, it was life itself. I saw our everyday reality reflected in Christ’s life: family, friendship, love, laughter, tears, betrayal, misunderstanding, temptation… everything we go through daily. And deeper questions arose within me: What is my role in His story? Who am I in this drama (you wouldn't believe who I realized I was)? Who do I want to become from now on?

In that reflection, I understood that the answer is not in escaping suffering, but in how I live through it, by connecting to and being led by the One who has already experienced it all and lived it with grace. He has lived through it all. So who could be a better mentor than Him? He forgave those who crucified Him. He endured unimaginable pain and remained at peace in His heart. In Him, I see the only one capable of guiding us through life because He has passed through everything, and He did so with a love that never breaks.

And when I think of emotional suffering, I find myself drawn to the Virgin Mary. Who could understand human pain more deeply than a mother who watched her Son suffer? Between Christ and His mother, I realized nothing we experience is foreign to them.

I began this journey simply hungry for a kind of happiness that does not depend on circumstances. And now, I find myself hopeful… because I am beginning to see that such happiness is possible, even in a world that often feels chaotic. One of the most important things I have discovered is that to experience Christ’s love, you must build a relationship with Him. His love is not abstract, it fills the heart with  real joy, and a deep satisfaction.

I once saw a quote that said, “A crush is just a lack of information.” It made me smile, and it reminded me that with God, it is the opposite: to know Him is to love Him, and no amount of logic alone will lead you there. It begins with allowing yourself to encounter Him… to let Him become your friend.

Someone once asked, “How do you know that God hears your prayers?” If I had to answer now, I would simply say: Trust that He has. I have witnessed it in ways beyond my imagination. The difference is that His answers do not always come as we expect. Sometimes the answer is “Not now.” Sometimes it is “Not this.” And sometimes, it is exactly what we asked for. So, The real question is not whether He listens, answers or whether He is for us, but whether we trust Him and remain attentive enough to recognize His presence and guidance in our lives.

Every time we pray, we are heard, and the real invitation is to trust, even before we understand. Remember the story of Bartimaeus, the blind man (Mark 10:46–52). He called out to Jesus Christ even though he had never seen Him, never witnessed His works with his own eyes. All he had was what he had heard and yet, he trusted. And because of that trust, he encountered Christ and received his sight. There is something deeply personal in that story: before seeing clearly, he chose to trust, and that is the same path we are invited into as we trust and keep following Him, clarity comes.

As we celebrate Easter, I invite you to stay close, to watch, and to listen. And to ask yourself  who am I and who do I want to become in the drama The Passion of the Christ…

And last but not least, the task of following Christ is personal but never individual. We need a community. In Christ’s story, there was Simon who helped carry the cross, the women who wiped His face, and John who remained with His mother to the end. Each one had a role. In the same way, we need people who share the same faith and the same goal people to walk with us, to remind us of the truth, and to lift us up when we fall.

Thank you for reading, Happy Easter to those who believes in it!💜