My Personal Growth Diary 3: The Stories Our Eyes Tell 👀

As we grow, we begin to see the world and the people in it through a different lens. What I believe today might be completely different from what I will believe tomorrow, and that’s the beauty of growth. It is a constant unfolding. Our views evolve, our perspectives shift, and what once seemed black and white begins to show shades of grey. It’s almost as if we have been blind all along, and suddenly, things start to come into focus. With time and experience, what once made sense starts to feel confusing, and what we used to overlook begins to speak loudly.

Somewhere along this journey, I noticed something subtle yet profound: our eyes carry so much of our emotions. The heart might try to hide the truth, but the eyes—oh, the eyes never lie.

I remember a conversation I had with two men I met during a training. We had started bonding and ended up discussing gender roles in relationships and family. I used to believe that older people were always wiser; but during that discussion, one of the men challenged that belief.

His views made me terrified. He spoke about women as though they were emotional burdens, irrational beings that needed to be managed. I was angry. I couldn’t understand how someone could lack so much empathy. I began to ask questions probing, hoping he’d reflect. But the more I asked, the more defensive he became.

Then I looked into his eyes, unexpectedly.

And in that moment, I froze. I saw pain, deep anger, and unhealed sadness. It felt like someone—maybe a woman had deeply hurt him. That look unsettled me. For a while, I became afraid of looking people in the eye. But that fear didn’t last long because by nature, when someone speaks to me, I instinctively hold their gaze. It helps me connect. It helps me understand what their words can’t say.

Fast forward to a different chapter. I had a friend. We had a silent game going on, it felt like we were always locking eyes in a playful contest of who would look away first. One day, after a long time without seeing each other, we met again in a group setting. But when our eyes met this time, something was different. I saw joy in his eyes. Genuine happiness. I don't know if it was my thoughts then but it felt like he was truly happy to see me. and I am glad that, that's what I saw that time. 

I kept thinking about it and replaying the situation, and in that moment, something clicked. I had never believed that anyone could be happy just because I showed up. I had always underestimated my own presence, feeling like I had to do something or be someone in order to be appreciated or loved, even by my family and friends. That day, I realized I had spent so long feeling unseen that I had stopped seeing others too. I hadn’t truly loved or appreciated anyone—not deeply, because I didn’t think I was worthy of love in return.

That’s why, whenever someone asked me for a favor, I felt used. I was giving from an empty cup. I knew I was giving from an empty cup… but I didn’t know why it was empty, or what I needed to fill it. Until that one moment. That one look. It changed everything.

And I’m so grateful I never stopped looking into people’s eyes. Because after that moment after seeing someone light up just because I was there, I began to reflect on all the quiet love I had received over the years. The support of my friends. The sacrifices of my family. The way people showed up for me in little, everyday ways. I had taken all of it for granted.

I started to notice the warm meals made for me, the thoughtful messages, the everyday check-ins, the laughs we shared, the silence we sat in together. I began to cherish every single moment no matter how small. I realized that love had been around me all along, but I was too focused on earning it to recognize it. And slowly, giving became joyful. Doing favors no longer felt like a burden, it became a way of expressing the love I had rediscovered. 

Today, I’m not telling you to go around staring into everyone’s soul (though it is kind of amazing). I’m inviting you to look within—to pause and notice what’s going on inside you. Is there something you have been blaming others for that is really about your own lacks? Have you ever had a moment where someone’s eyes told you more than their words ever could?

 I’d love to hear your story. The comments are always open, and so is my heart. 

A Gentle Reflection for You

Sometimes healing and growth doesn’t come from grand gestures, they come from noticing the quiet ways people show they care.

Who have you taken for granted lately?

What small acts of love have you missed or dismissed in your daily life? And most importantly… are you allowing yourself to receive love, or are you too busy trying to deserve it? Take a deep breath. Reflect. Write it down if you can. Or simply pause and let your heart remember. And if someone comes to mind, someone whose love and presence you have overlooked, maybe today is a good day to thank them.